Thursday, September 3, 2009

Blogging ?????

I'm so behind on blogging as you can tell my excuse no time but I beleive you have to make the time and prioritize and blogging is not one of those at the top and it should. Right now I am having troubles putting pictures on here it is doing strange things and I have no clue how to figure it out!!!! I have never been a pro at computers. OUr camera is now broken which makes things harder. Madison was playing with our camera. I told her she knows that she is not supposed to be playing with the camera and her respose well its Ashley's fault because she pushed me. No its both of your faults I said You should not be playing with the camera and Ashley shouldn't have pushed you. She is still convinced its not her fault!!! So until I figure this all out (blogging) I don't have much to post


I want to share with my New Hampshire friends that I just found out after about 9 months that Cheryl Ayer's sister works at the same place I do. What a small world. It was like reconnecting with cheryl which stirred up some emotions. We had it good in New Hampshire a house Scott had a good job wonderful wonderful friends and a AWESOME ward but it was so hard to be away from family, so we moved to Mesquite and every since then it has been a rocky road. The move was sooo hard and I became very depressed and scott's job was not going well so as you know he was demoted and we are now in utah living. We have been in limbo for the past four years. I feel like I have no identity, don't want to make friends, struggling with the ward we are in, and my emotional health has been bad. Anyway seeing cheryl's sister brought up some deep emotions inside of me of how much you all mean to me and your friendship I am afraid of losing all of you because I never see you. I feel like I have lost my identity so trying to feel established is hard, making new friends is hard, feeling a part of our ward is hard because it is SO big and so different. New Hampshire will always be our home. But I have to look at the good. I am by family and my health is better but I never ever want to go through what we went through again. I still do not see how trials make you stronger because if anything I am a lot Weaker!!!!

5 comments:

Cindi said...

It is so wonderful to see you on here again...I love how blogging and facebook keep friends connected, even when they are separated by distance. There are so many people who love and miss you here, but we also understand how hard it is to be away from your family. You are a wonderful, loving person, Michelle, and I am thankful to know you. Hang in there. Sometimes establishing friendships and relationships takes a bit longer than we expect. Praying for you.

Becky said...

I don't want you to feel like I have it harder than you...personal trials are all different and DIFFICULT! I'm sorry you have been struggling so much. Know that we MISS you and LOVE you so much! You will always be family to us too. Stay strong Michelle and know we are praying for you!

Mostly Stacie's Space said...

I know very much how you feel. It has been very hard to find the friendships and sence of belonging that I had in Laconia. :/ But as to the other NH was 5 1/2 years of some serious testing, with job, with home sickness, with just about everything else. Rely on the Lord, trust the councel of your husband, and know that it is all for our good. I also know that without a doubt the friendships I made in NH will be eternal. Those women and those ties will be part of us no matter how far we go. I love you. Just keep stepping forward, you can do it. Your forever friend.

Marcia said...

Not to discount your great ward in NH, but part of the reason you likely felt so close to those people is because you had to depend on each other where there were so few of you. That is definitely not the case in Utah. I wish I had words of wisdow for you, but I hope you know you can rely on your family to help you. Love you!!!

Rocky said...

Hi Michelle -- We've never met but you know my mom & dad -- Dave & Carol Varney. Mom blogs for me and she said you are a great person, so I thought I would say hi and introduce myself. I'm originally from the South so I know it is hard to move. Mom adopted me a year and a half ago from NC. I was scared and sad to leave my foster dad, but now I'm happy because I love my new family. I still miss those hot days in NC and getting used to snow took a while, but I love it. Just remember family is what is most important and you are surrounded by them every day! I'm a therapy dog now and my job is to make people smile. Hope I made you smile -- Rocky