Thursday, August 19, 2010

AUGUST 2010

lAST WEEK WE HEADED TO IDAHO TO TAKE MICHAELA TO EFY AND THE REST OF US TO ATTEND THE MURDOCH REUNION. MICHALEA GOT TO SPEND THE LAST NIGHT BEFORE WE LEFT. ALL THE KIDS TIE DYED SHIRTS. WE SPENT OUR TIME IN A BEAUTIFUL CABIN. YOU CAN SEE THE BEAUTIFUL TETON MOUNTAINS FROM THE FRONT WINDOW. I DON'T HAVE MUCH PICTURES OF THE CABIN BECAUSE MICHAELA TOOK THE CAMERA TO EFY


SCOTTS MOM AND DAD'S FIRT GREAT GRANDCHILD. HE GOT SPOILED BEING HELD BY EVERYONE EVEN ME. HE IS SO SWEET AND CUTE



MCKENZIE GOT TO SPEND TIME WITH HER COUSIN AMBER





MICHAELA AND HER FREIND FROM MESQUITE, APRIL ATTNEDING EFY





ALL HER EFY CLAN





ANOTHER PICTURE OF MICHAELA AND APRIL. MICHAELA ABSOLUTELY LOVED EFY, HER TESTIMONY GREW ALOT AND SHE MET SOME NICE YOUNG BOYS. THEY HAD TWO DANCES AND SHE LOVED THAT. I AM SOOOO GLAD SHE GOT TO GO AND RECOMMEND THIS TO ANY YOUTH







AND LAST OF ALL THIS IS THE VERY HARDEST. MY MOTHER WAS DIAGNOSED WITH LUNG CANCER A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO. MY MOM HAD A LUMP IN HER NECK. THE DOCTOR TOOK A SAMPLE OF IT AND IT CAME BACK NEGATIVE FOR CANCER BUT THE DOCTOR WAS NOT CONVINCED SO HE DID SURGERY AND REMOVED IT AND THAT IS WHEN HE SAW IT AND SAID IT WAS CANCER. MY HEART SANK. FINDING THE REAL RESULTS WAS ANOTHER 5 DAYS AND DURING THAT TIME WE WENT TO BEAUTIFUL BEAR LAKE WITH ALL THE SIBLINGS AND HAD A GREAT TIME BUT IN THE BACK OF OUR MIND WAS THE FEELING OF WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH OUR MOM. THE DAY WE CAME HOME WAS VERY HARD FOR ME AND I COULD NOT CONTROL MY EMOTIONS. I LET THEM ALL OUT DRIVING HOME. WHEN WE ARRIVED HOME MY MOM HAD GOTTEN A CALL FROM HER PRIMARY DOCTOR WANTING TO SEE HER THE NEXT , DAY AND SAID THINGS LIKE THIS IS A LIFE CHANGING ORDEAL, BRING YOUR HUSBAND, I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE CANCER IS IT COULD POSSIBLEY BE IN YOUR LUNGS YOUR STOMACH. IT WAS AWFUL I HAD A SICK FEELING IN MY STOMACH. MY MOM HAD AN APPOINTMENT THAT DAY TO SEE THE SURGEON WHO REMOVED THE LUMP. THANKS TO MY STRONG SISTER JEN SHE ACCOMPANIED MY MOTHER TO THE APPOINTMENT. I COULD NOT CONTROL MY EMOTIONS WHATSOEVER IT WAS AWFUL. MY SISTER CALLED AFTER THE APPOINTMENT AND WHILE MY MOM WAS HAVING AN X-RAY ON HER LUNGS AND SAID THE CANCER WAS MOST LIKELY IN HER LUNGS. NOT GOOD, I WAS DEVASTATED. MY MOM CAME HOME AND SHORTLY AFTER THE PHONE RANG IT WAS THE HOPITAL SAYING THE LUNG X-RAY WAS NEGATIVE AND THEY WANTED TO DO A FULL BODY SCAN. I WAS RELIEVED THAT JUST MAYBE IT WAS NOT IN HER LUNG AND WAS SOMEWHERE ELSE AND THIS COULD BE BETTER.

AUGUST 9TH MY MOMS BIRTHDAY WAS THE DAY THE DOCTOR CONFIRMED IT WAS IN HER LUNGS. THAT WAS A VERY HARD DAY. SHE IS IN STAGE 3 . APPARANTLY THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF LUNG CANCER FAST GROWING AND NOT FAST GROWING MY MOM HAS THE FAST GROWING. MY MOM HAS TWO CHOICES CHEMO AND RADIATION OR NOTHING. THE DOCTOR TOLD HER IF SHE DID NOTHING SHE WOULD HAVE 9 MONTHS TO LIVE AND BE IN ALOT OF PAIN. WITH CHEMO AND RADIATION HE MAY BE ABLE TO EXTEND HER LIFE. THEY MAY BE ABLE TO SHRINK THE TUMOR AND POSSIBLE DO SURGERY. ITS ALL UP IN THE AIR RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY MOMS BODY IS ALREADY WEAK AND VERY FRAGILE. I AM AFAID THE CHEMO IS GOING TO KILL HER AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE MY MOM SUFFER . SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE HAS LIVED A GOOD LIFE AND IS READY FOR WHATEVER THE LORD WILL GIVE HER BUT THAT SHE DOES NOT WANT TO SUFFER. THIS IS SO VERY VERY HARD TO GRASP. YOU KNOW YOU ALWAYS HEAR OF OTHER PEOPLE GOING THROUGH THIS BUT NEVER THINK IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU. I AM NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THE FUTURE AND WHAT IT HOLDS BUT I HAVE TO BE STRONG FOR MY MOM AND SUPPORT HER THE BEST I CAN BECAUSE SHE IS GOING TO NEED IT. I DON'T WANT TO FACE THIS AND PRAY THAT SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS BUT COME WHAT MAY. PLEASE PRAY FOR MY MOM SHE WILL NEED IT. I PRAY FOR THE BEST OUTCOME WHATEVER IT MAY BE. I WISH THIS NEVER HAPPENED AND I AM NOT READY TO SEE MY MOM GO BUT SOMEHOW SOMEWAY I HAVE TO FIND THE FAITH TO ACCEPT WHATEVER HAPPENS.








21 comments:

Wiggles said...

Our youth always come back strengthened from EFY as well. It is a great program. I'm so sorry to hear of your mother's struggle with cancer. It will be hard, but the Lord will be with her, you and the family. I will be praying for all of you.

Cindi said...

Oh, Michelle, this is such a difficult thing for you all to go through. I am praying for your mom, and also for you and your family, that you will be able to feel Heavenly Father's love and comfort, and that you will be strengthened for whatever lies ahead. Sending you my love...

jkn said...

We just found out about your Mom today. All of you will be in our thoughts and prayers. We will put her name in the temple as well. Your Mom is such a neat person; we love talking to her. May the Lord be with all of you and strengthen you.
John and Joy

Undaunted ~ My Life One Day at a Time said...

I got the comforter from TJ Max. :) Glad you like the room. I hope you are doing good. Love ya

Dana said...

I hope you speak Dutch!
Hoi!
Hoe gaat het?
Ik hoop goed!
Echt fijn dat je nederlands spreekt want mijn engels is niet zo goed!
Groetjes Mij

Miss Mixie said...

IS THERE A REASON THIS POST WAS IN ALL CAPS? BECAUSE IT MAKES IT SEEM LIKE YOU'RE SHOUTING EVERYTHING! YOU MIGHT WANNA RETHINK THAT. WE HAVE TWO CASES FOR A REASON. KTHXBYE.

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